Come back home
by CloakSeeker
Summary: <html><head></head>Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of SHIELD. Based on the promo 2x03 Making Friends and Influencing People. Coulson finds Simmons in her apartment in London and asks her a question.</html>
1. Chapter 1

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" Coulson asked Simmons who was pointing a gun at him. Several months ago the new director of SHIELD would have never dreamed of seeing the young scientist even holding a fire arm in her hands let alone poiting it at him.

"How did you find me?" Simmons asked, her voice even. Coulson had to admire her. She stood her ground never dropping either her gaze or her weapon.

"I'm the director of SHIELD. I have a few aces up my sleeve" he replied.

"SHIELD is gone and you know that" she said in a harsh tone. "Leave. I don't want anything to do with you" she demanded.

"Really? Is that so?" Coulson asked her mockingly. "We have checked your apartment. You are bug free" he stated matter-of-factly. Simmons scoffed. She didn't believe him. She was well aware who she worked for. They would never let her have her privacy. Nevertheless, she dropped her gun, looking away. Coulson saw his opportunity and closed the distance between them. Coming close to her ear he whispered "are they listening?" Simmons nodded. "Did they... are you like Amador?" Simmons turned in surprise to his question. She locked her eyes on his and shook her head. Coulson let out a sigh of relief. "We checked your apartment thoroughly. I promise, you are safe. Can we talk?" Simmons nodded and showed him to the couch. They both sat down next to each other, none of them wanting to break the silence.

It was awkward. They haven't spoken ever since Simmons left the Playground, which was a few months back. Coulson never believed her to be a traitor. If she were she would have given up the location of the Playground months ago. Them still staying at the secret base was testimony that the young woman was far from being loyal to their enemy.

"Wanna explain why you work for Hydra?" Coulson asked her directly.

"I had to. After Fitz woke up I knew I had to do something. And I couldn't do it there."

"What did you do?" Coulson asked, an eyebrow raised.

"I needed to help you all. And Fitz. He needed time to recover. I was in his way. I saw how much he struggled to be his old self again. And I figured I only reminded him of what he lost down there at the bottom of the ocean. He needed to be Fitz again before we could even attempt to be FitzSimmons" she said with a bitter tone.

"He is suffering. After you left he started talking to himself, he can hardly do anything on his own. Although, last week he helped us capture a very dangerous enemy. Carl Creel."

At that name Simmons looked up for the first time. She was so focused on Fitz and her former team that she was unable to even look at Coulson. But that name made her look up.

"Did you say Creel?" she asked, unsure she heard him right.

"Do you know him?" Coulson asked skeptically.

"No. I mean I've heard of him. They call him Absorbing Man" she said.

"We have him in custody. Well, the US army actually. Fitz helped us. A lot."

Simmons couldn't help a smile. Maybe he would be his old self again. Some day.

"We need you back, Jemma. All of us. Will you return to your home?" Coulson asked her. Simmons remaind quite. She didn't know what to do. She worked hard to get in and find out as much as she could. She was able to store some of the files on a secure USB drive, but the majority was still at the Hydra facility she was assigned to. But if Hydra found out that her former boss, now director of SHIELD, came to her apartment for a visit they would surely take care of her. At that thought she swallowed hard.

"Can you protect me?" she asked as quitely as possible.

"We will."

"You mean you'll try" she said, saddness creeping in her voice.

"No, we will. I have a hunch you did all this for a very good reason. Am I wrong?" Coulson asked her and Simmons shook her head. She stood up and went to the painting that was on the opposite wall of the couch. She turned it around and removed the drive handing it to Coulson.

"It contains everything I've worked on since joining them and a few other things I managed to copy. It's not much..." Simmons explained, but got interrupted by Coulson.

"It'll do. Go get your stuff. Extraction in five."

Simmons quickly gathered her things and followed Coulson to the rooftop. A quinjet appeared out of nowhere and both of them jumped on the ramp. Within seconds the ramp closed behind them and the quinjet, Simmons assumed, used it's cloaking to disappear and fly back to base.


	2. Chapter 2

The flight back to the Playground was long but uneventful. After boarding the quinjet Jemma took a seat and buckled in. Coulson left her to check on the pilot, but returned shortly, smiling at her. Jemma almost expected to see Agent May, instead she was greeted by a smiling Trip who opened his arms. Jemma unbuckled and hugged him awkwardly.

„It's good to see you again, Jemma" Trip told her sincerely.

„Good to see you too. How have you been?" she almost regretted asking, but Trip as usual smiled at her and just answered „You know, same ol', same ol'".

Trip sat down next to her and started talking to her, while Coulson was currently engaged in a phone call they assumed with May.

„So, how was life on the other side?" Trip asked her. Jemma looked at him in surprise.

„You mean with Hydra?"

„Yeah. Did they treat you right? I mean you are a first class scientist and agent. One hell of an asset, if you ask me" he stated, making Jemma blush slightly.

„Well, it was ok, although they don't have dental" Jemma told him, making him laugh at her remark.

„I'm sorry to say this" Coulson joined them „but neither does SHIELD."

The conversation between the three of them seemed to lighten up after that, Jemma telling them as much as she could about her time with Hydra and what she learned. Trip told her about their missions, about the team and the fact that Ward was held in a vault at the Playground. At first Jemma was shocked, which Coulson could understand given the fact that the man tried to kill her and Fitz, but then she became sad, which caused Coulson to ask.

„What's wrong?"

„It's Ward" Jemma answered.

„Don't worry. He won't hurt you. Even if he manages to escape I will protect you" Trip assured her.

„I'm not worried about my safety. I'm worried about his."

„What do you mean?" Coulson asked her.

„While I was working for Hydra I managed to hack a few files – I know it's not my specialty, but I watched Skye many times and learned a few things. Anyway, while I was there I looked into many different things. Then I found the Centipede files. There weren't many digital ones, just a few, but I managed to get a hold of some of the personnel files. I managed to get Ward's" Jemma stopped talking, letting the information she had given so far sink in.

„Do you have it? The file?" Coulson asked.

„It's on the drive. I figured there might be some blanks in the file Skye had on her drive. After all, they are SHIELD personnel file. We never got a full picture out of those" Jemma looked at Coulson while speaking. Coulson only nodded. „You need to read the file. I'm no therapist or psychology expert but I think Ward needs help. A lot. He did many bad things, but most of them were ordered by either Hydra or SHIELD."

„SHIELD?" Trip asked, a little surprised.

„Yes, he is...was a specialist after all. Like yourself. But Garrett trained him to be a weapon, not an agent. Hydra took full advantage of him, but SHIELD followed close behind. There are things that SHIELD doesn't know about him. And I know I should hate him for what he did to me and Fitz, but the more I read about him, the more I understand him. And I looked over the schematics of that pod Fitz and I were in. It was supposed to float. All the pods are. It is fair to assume that Ward thought so too. Only something went wrong and it sank. I tried for months to blame him for trying to kill us, but after I read his file and thought about what he did regarding our team I came to the conclusion that Ward isn't the monster we think he is. Or he himself thinks he is. I played that day over and over again in my head. If Ward really wanted to kill us he would have shot us. Even if we refused to come out of the pod we would have died in there."

„You can't be sure, Jemma" Trip tried to argue.

„He hesitated, Trip" answered Jemma. „Someone who is a cold-blooded murderer wouldn't have hesitated. And he wouldn't have waited for Fitz to set of his EMP. He would have shot us on sight."

„I don't know, Jemma" Coulson finally spoke.

„I understand. But please read the file. I'm not excusing him. Far from it, but you need to know."

„I will. Once we are back at the Playground I will read his file" Coulson promised.

The rest of the flight they spend talking about minor things that happened to them since they parted. And before long the quinjet landed in the hangar of the secret base.


	3. Chapter 3

Skye was waiting for Coulson and Trip to return from their ubersecret mission. She hated when she didn't know where they went and what they faced, but by now she learned to not question Coulson. He was director and knew what he was doing. At least, that's what she hoped.

When the ramp of the quinjet lowered Skye approached it to greet the two men. Only there was a third person there. A woman. No. Not only _a_ woman. One in particularly to be exact. Jemma Simmons. Hydra. Skye was furious. She stormed towards the quinjet determined to confront her former teammate about her betrayal, but she was stopped by Coulson.

„My office" he ordered. Skye wanted to open her mouth to say something but Coulson wouldn't take it. He walked passed her motioning her to follow. Skye reluctantly left the hangar and followed her boss.

„That went well" Trip said in a mocking voice. Jemma only nodded and tried to smile. Trip showed her to her room, leaving her there to get some rest.

Meanwhile, Coulson reached his office, closely followed by Skye. After she entered he closed the door and motioned her to sit in front of his desk, while he took his seat behind it.

„I know what you think and it is wrong" he stated ignoring Skye's glare.

„I haven't said anything" she just replied.

„I know it was difficult for you. For all of us when she left, but she had to." He raised his hand to stop Skye from protesting and continued. „I found out why she left. She was never Hydra. She just felt overwhelmed here and needed to do something to help. I'm not asking you to forgive her or trust her for that matter. I'm asking you to trust me and my judgement. Everyone deserves a second chance. Remember, I gave you one" he explained. Skye kept silent thinking of what Coulson had said. When she finally looked up she asked, almost mockingly „Even Ward?"

„Maybe" he simply answered, leaving her speechless. Clearly Skye didn't expect him to say that. Coulson dismissed her and Skye left his office with a dozen questions racing through her head.

_What was that? Does he want to give Ward a second chance? Is he out of his mind?_

Skye knew there was only one person she could talk to. And that was May. She went to the gym where she knew her SO was training.

„Are they back" May asked never looking at Skye.

„Yeah and they brought someone with them."

„Who?" asked May looking up this time.

„Guess" she teased.

„Skye, you know I don't like it when you..." May started to scold her, but got interrupted when Skye spoke again.

„Simmons."

May looked shocked for a quarter of a second. Skye only noticed it because she spend the last few months almost every day with the senior agent.

„So, he found her" May just said before resuming her training.

„That's all? That's all you have to say? She betrayed us. Went to Hydra. And Coulson brings her back like nothing happened" Skye got more furious by the minute.

„Enough" May ordered. She didn't yell, but her tone was firm and definitive. Skye knew better than to argue with the Cavalry. Skye scoffed and left the gym. She went looking for Trip. Maybe he would explain what the hell Simmons was doing there.

It didn't take long and she found the specialist in the kitchen with Hunter. The two of them had an argument about... a sandwich.

„Mayo is better, mate" Hunter argued.

„No, ketchup" replied Trip.

„Uhm, ladies" Skye coughed „if your done arguing about what to put on your sandwiches than maybe Trip and I could have a little chat?"

„What up, girl?" Trip asked her smiling his trademark smile.

„I wanna know why you brought her here. She's the enemy. She belongs in a cell. Just like the other traitor" Skye spitted.

„What is she talking about? Who should be in a cell?" Hunter prodded.

„No, she doesn't. I know you are pissed at her for leaving, but..." Trip tried to calm her down.

„I'm not pissed. Do I look pissed to you" she asked Hunter.

„To be honest you look like shit. Hot shit, but still shit" Hunter teased, earning him a glare.

„Oh, shut up" she showed him the finger and turned to Trip once again. „So?"

„It was Coulson's call not mine. If you have something to say you know where his office is. As for Jemma..."

„Who's Jemma?" Hunter asked, looking from one agent to the other.

„A traitor" Skye yelled.

„Skye!" It was Coulson who was just entering the kitchen, followed by May and Jemma. Skye turned around and was momentarily silenced.

„I'll be in my room if you need me" Skye said and wanted to walk out of the room, only to be stopped by her SO. She tried to get out of her grip but May gave her one of her stares, the ones that said _shut up and listen or I'll give you 20 pull-ups_.

Skye turned on her heels and sat down at the nearby table. The others soon followed and Coulson explained where he was and what he was looking for. They were told what Jemma had been doing and what she risked to retrieve valuable information from one of Hydra's bases. Skye listened but couldn't bring herself to look at Jemma. Even if what Coulson said was true, she could have told her. They were best friends. Almost sisters. But Jemma didn't trust her. She lied to her. She was just as bad as _him_.


	4. Chapter 4

Coulson was sitting in his office reading file after file on the hard drive Jemma provided. It contained valuable information on several Hydra operatives, bases and missions. But it also contained a very large file on one Grant Ward.

He returned from England almost a week ago and the past two days he spend reading the former agents file. Some of it he knew other things he deduced, but there was another kind of information on Ward he disliked. There were reports on his training, conduct, his missions. Coulson knew that SHIELD kept a close eye on their agents, but Hydra took it a step further. He knew from Jemma and the information she recovered that Hydra used brainwash methods to "recruit" agents. Ward, however, was never brainwashed. Instead he was severely beaten by Garrett. He even tortured the younger man over and over again. Add to this guilt and self loathing with just a hint of loss and loneliness and you have one very obedient soldier. And that's what Ward was – an obedient soldier. He would have done everything for Garrett. He himself admitted to that.

Coulson continued reading. The more he did however the more he felt sick to his stomach. Although Ward deserved to rot in a cell for all his crimes, Coulson couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Garrett would have never found him. Or maybe someone else would have. Someone like himself. He sighed. He needed to talk to Melinda. She might not like Ward, hell, he didn't like Ward at the moment, but if half of what was in his file was true than Coulson needed to rethink the younger man's punishment. It wasn't solely his fault.

After texting Melinda to come and see him he made sure to make all the files accesible to her. He ordered Koenig to not let anyone disturb them, unless the Playground would be under attack. Minutes later May knocked on his door and waited a brief moment before she entered. It wasn't the first time Coulson requested to see her alone and most certainly it wasn't the first time she found him working in front of a desk full of papers.

"You wanted to see me?" May asked.

"Please, take a seat" he told her motioning to the chair in front of his desk. "For the past few days I've been reading the files from the hard disk. There is one in particular I want you to read. But before I give it to you please promise me you will keep an open mind" he looked at her almost pleadingly. May raised an eyebrow, but nodded in agreement. Coulson handed her a tablet that contained Ward's file and May started reading. The moment she saw the ex-agents name she looked up from the tablet and stared in disbelief at Coulson.

"What is this?" her tone was even, but he knew better. If looks could kill, well, then Melinda May would be a mass murderer.

"Ward's file" he said.

"I can see that. What I wanna know, why do I have to read this?"

"It's the file Hydra kept on Ward. The one Simmons recovered during her brief stay with them. I'm not asking you anything other than to read the file. Make your own assessment. Just read it and we'll talk after."

"Alright. I assume you want me to read this here" she said, looking back down at the tablet in her hand.

"Yes, that would be better. Until we don't know more I don't want the team to know about this." May silently nodded. She started reading the file, while Coulson returned to his duties. It took May several hours before she finished at least half of the file. She had to admit – Hydra was thorough. Ever since Garrett broke Ward out of juvie he kept a close watch on the boy. Even though some of the information was inconclusive, meaning the five years the younger man spend in the Wyoming woods, May could see the mental and physical torture he had to endure under Garrett. She didn't excuse or forgive him, but she could see why Coulson seemed to look at Ward differently.

It took the next day for her to finish the file and look at Coulson, who was currently writing a list of supplies they needed.

"Do you wanna give him a second chance?" she asked directly.

"I don't know yet. I want to talk to him. But first, what is your opinion on the matter?"

"I don't know. Obviously, Garrett trained him well, as in made him his lapdog. But given the fact that he was a teenager at the time and in juvie I can see how he was easily influenced. What he did, working for Hydra... I looked over his mission files. He worked flawless. And at this point it is hard to differentiate between SHIELD orders and Hydra orders. Basically, other than secretely knowing of Hydra's existence within SHIELD he did whatever SHIELD ordered him to do" May summarized. "That is, until Garrett ordered him to go undercover and fool us" she added bitterly.

"I had the same thought." Coulson stood from his desk and paced in his office. He was thinking of what to do next. He needed to know more. He had to talk to Ward. But he needed to know if May would be on his side on this.

"You wanna give him a second chance, don't you" she asked knowingly.

"I kinda do. But it will come with conditions."

Coulson told May what he planned to do with Ward. She only listened in silence, nodding every once in a while in agreement. If it were up to her Ward would rot in that cell for the rest of his life, but maybe she took it a little to personal. Maybe. It wasn't because he used her for sex. She knew that the moment she left that hotel room door open, back in Dublin. It was the fact that she let him blind her from his true intentions. But it wasn't just because of her. There was also what happened to FitzSimmons and Skye. They were the closest thing she and Coulson had to kids. She would never say it out loud, but she loved the three younger agents. But she could also understand Coulson. SHIELD made many mistakes in the past. The fact that Hydra was able to infiltrate and hide in plain sight for decades was testimony of SHIELD's mistakes. He wanted to do better. Change and rebuild the organization from scratch. She still would keep both eyes on Ward to watch his every move, but she would let Coulson have his little redemption project.

"I'm telling you right now that I won't be the one to break it to the others. Especially, Fitz, Simmons or Skye" May told him. Coulson sighed. He knew that it was his job to tell the others, but it didn't stop him to hope for some help from May.

"Alright, I'll tell them myself. But first I need to talk to Ward."


	5. Chapter 5

Ward was sitting on his small bed staring at the white wall in front of him. It had been a week since Skye last came down to his cell. She wanted information on Hydra, again, and he was more than willing to share every last bit of it. He knew he could never make it up to her, but he would help her whenever she asked for. If he knew something so would she.

He was more than surprised when the white wall went down and the director of SHIELD stood on the other side of the barrier.

"Good evening, Ward" Coulson greeted.

"Sir" said Ward and nodded.

"I want to ask you a few questions" Coulson started.

"I told you I would give SHIELD everything I know on Hydra, if Skye asks these questions" Ward calmly answered the director.

"I don't want intel from you. Well, I do. But this isn't the reason why I'm here. Will you at least listen to me?" he asked, a small smile creeping onto his face. Ward nodded. Coulson sat down on the chair behind him and motioned Ward to sit on the bed.

"First, what you did to the team is unforgivable. You lied to us, betrayed us, almost killed us. But you were under others, so it was nothing personal" Coulson repeated the same phrase Ward told Skye on the Bus after kidnapping her. Ward flinched. Coulson noticed that. Back in the day, when Ward was just the SHIELD black ops specialist he would have never done that. But now – he was broken. A shadow of the man he used to be.

"Recently, I read something interesting. Want to know what?" Ward shrugged. "Your file. The one Hydra kept on you."

Again Coulson watched the younger man. He was visibly surprised to hear his former boss saying that. Nevertheless, he didn't say a word, waiting for the director to continue.

"I now know more about you and Garrett. About what he did to you, how he "trained" you. Even though you were never brainwashed, the way others were, Garrett still knew how to manipulate you. I acknowledge that what happened isn't entirely your fault, but you still have a lot of things to work out for yourself. Here's what I want. I want to give you a second chance. I still believe that everyone deserves one. You never got that. Not from Garrett. He never gave you any chance. He just used you, made a weapon out of you. If you want I'm willing to give you a chance to redeem yourself. I won't force you. It is your decision and yours alone."

Coulson remained quiet after that. He wanted to give Ward the chance to process everything and think about his offer. But he realized he couldn't expect the younger man to give him an answer right away. So he stood up and started walking towards the stairs.

"What will I have to do" Ward asked in a hoarse voice.

Coulson was startled when Ward spoke up. He turned around and approached the barrier.

"First, I want you to accept a therapist. You need to work things out."

"I accept. I want to help you. I want to keep her safe. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I just want to help. And I do realize that there is a lot on my conscience."

"Good, I'm glad to hear you say that. I will talk to our therapist to come down here and talk to you. After and only after that I will consider moving you to another quarter. You okay with that?" Ward nodded. "If the therapist sees it fit to move you, you will receive a tracking bracelet, like the one Skye used to wear, only with a few improvements."

Ward nodded again. It was more than he could have ever asked for. The moment Coulson offered him a second chance a light went on in his mind and he just knew that it was his only chance to do good, after a lifetime of evil. He would do everything that was necessary to make things right and maybe in time he could make up for the wrongs he did to his team. They wouldn't forgive him, but at least he could protect them as best he could.

"Alright then. I will send Dr. Monroe first thing in the morning. I want you to know that during your therapy session the cameras will be off. Everything you'll tell the doctor will stay between the two of you. She will only report her assessment and if you continue the therapy sessions your progress to me. If you divulge Hydra secrets to her she will however report them back to me, I hope you understand."

"I do."

"Alright. I'll leave you then to rest. Good night, Ward."

"Good night, Sir."

Coulson turned his back to the younger man and approached the stairs. The moment he reached the top one he heard Ward speak again.

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you giving me this chance?"

"A long time ago I was in a similar situation. The person that received this second chance then had a lot more red on her ledger than you. It was actually dripping. But I would lie if I would say that it isn't mostly because of that file. Don't kid yourself. It will take a lot of work on your part and a long time until we will be able to trust you again. It is up to you if you want to make amends or not." Coulson opened the door, but stopped before exiting the vault. "If you ever want to talk to someone other than the therapist, my door is open. I knew Garrett and I got to know him better through your file. And don't worry, the team doesn't know. They will be informed when the time comes." With that he left and Ward sat back on his bed.

What Coulson offered was a once in a lifetime chance to redeem himself. Even though he doesn't deserve it he would take it with both hands. He really wanted to do better, be better. And maybe one day he will be able to look his former team mates in the eyes and see something other than the profound hatred they hold now. And even if they would never forgive him he would still protect them, even at the cost of his own life.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning the therapist came into his cell, just like Coulson told him. She was a middle aged woman that looked like she never left the 70's. She had a long flower dress on and a scarf around her head. Her long blonde hair hung loose over her shoulders and the flip-flops she had on reminded Ward of a walk on the beach.

The therapist sat down on the chair in front of the barrier and silently asked Ward to do the same.

"Good morning, Mr. Ward. My name is Cynthia Monroe and I'll be your therapist for the day. And if you want to continue then I'll be your therapist for a longer time" she greeted him and introduced herself.

"Good morning, Dr. Monroe" Ward replied curtly.

"Please, call me Cynthia. May I call you Grant?"

"Yes."

"Alrighty then. Let's start."

At first the therapist asked Ward a few seemingly random questions – like how long he worked for SHIELD or rather Hydra, if he liked his job. At some point she asked why he wanted to redeem himself.

"I want to make things right. I did terrible things and I know I don't deserve forgiveness. I'm not asking for forgiveness either. I just want to help. To protect."

"Why do you think you don't deserve forgiveness?"

"Because I'm a bad person. I deserve to rot in here."

"Is this your opinion or someone else's?"

"Uhm… someone told me that, but I agree."

"Then why try to redeem yourself if you truly believe that's what you deserve?"

"I don't know. I guess I can't help them if I'm in here."

The session continued over the scheduled two hours. Both patient and therapist didn't mind the talk. Dr. Monroe was used to all kinds of patients. Even though Grant held back, which was only normal given the fact they just met and he still had to get comfortable to talk about certain things, Cynthia was glad he was willing to talk at all. Usually victims of abuse held back, interiorized everything to the point of breaking. She knew that at some point he tried to kill himself, but after several failed attempts he seemed to come around and accept his fate. But now he wanted to do something. He was used to working hard, to hardship in general and he wanted to make things right, which indicated that he was never a true believer of what Hydra promoted, he only followed his mentor. He needed guidance and that man, Garrett, offered him that. Cynthia realized that Grant never had the chance to be himself and to be able to be that, to think for himself, distinguish right from wrong on his own he would have to work hard.

"Ok, thank you, Grant. I think this is enough for today. It's lunch time and you are probably hungry. I sure am. I have one final question for you. No matter what happens after today, if the director decides to move you somewhere else or leaves you in here, would you consider continuing your therapy?"

Grant remained quiet for a while thinking of it. Right, Coulson said that he would consider a transfer only after the talk to the therapist. If she would say that he wasn't ready to be moved he would still stay in here. For the first time he realized he really wanted this. Bad. But that wasn't her question. He never liked talking about himself, but something about her made it easier. Or maybe he was just sick and tired of bottling things up. If he really wanted to change than talking about himself, about his fears and problems, was a very important step. Yeah, he wanted to continue, no matter what happened after today.

"Yes."

"Alright then. I'll let you have lunch and I'll be back for another session in the evening. Unless you don't want another one today."

"No, it's alright."

"Good. I guess I'll see you later then. Good bye for now, Grant."

"Good bye."

The therapist left the vault and headed to the director's office. Since Koenig knew that Coulson expected her he let her pass no questions asked. Cynthia knocked on the door and waited to be invited in.

"Come in" Coulson's voice was heard from behind the door. Cynthia entered and walked to his desk. "Please, sit down."

"Thank you. I just finished talking to Grant" she stated. "I still don't have a written report. I will send it to you later today."

"That's fine. You said you just finished? I thought the session was for two hours, not five" Coulson looked as his watch.

"Well, yes, but after the initial bump we really made progress. Grant talked about a lot of things. His childhood, his teenage years, the pain he felt. At some point I realized he wasn't sure if he would ever get the chance to talk to someone again and wanted to say as much as possible. I let him. The more he spoke of his past the lighter he seemed. Director, this young man was broken long before Garrett found him. He only gave him a false sentiment of strength and belonging. He was used mercilessly. But I'm happy to say that he agreed to continue therapy even if I would suggest to you that he isn't fit to be let out of that vault."

"And is it in your professional opinion that Grant Ward should stay there?"

"Actually, it is not. He wants to help. He wants to make amends, even if the people he loves will hate him forever. Because make no mistake, he loved you all. Still does. But Garrett's grip on him was too tight and Grant felt he owed the man for saving him, when in fact that man contributed in his destruction."

"So, you are saying he deserves a second chance?"

"You know me, Phil. I'm a sucker for second chances. Just like you" she said smirking.

"I guess you are right" he replied, smiling brightly. "Any suggestions how to tell the team?"

"They need to know, but keep the file to yourself for now. If Grant wants to share let him. Don't force it. They might be hurt, but he is in a far worse condition. He needs time. If you want I can come and support you?" she offered.

"Thank you, that would be awesome" he sighed in relief. _Oh boy_.


	7. Chapter 7

It was past 5 pm when Coulson asked his former team to join him in the common area of the Bus. He also invited Lance Hunter, given the fact that he became part of the team and spend a great deal of time with the others and Mack, who seemed to be like a big brother overlooking the kids.

"So, anyone know why we are here?" Lance asked curious.

"I guess some mission" Trip muttered.

"Maybe Couls…Coulson has some new tech for… us" Fitz stuttered.

"Maybe we should just wait for Coulson and then we'll find out" Mack suggested.

Coulson entered the common area followed closely by May and a woman they knew was a therapist.

"Good afternoon everyone" he greeted them. They all nodded. "Please sit down. What I have to tell you is very important." They all took a seat and waited for him to continue. "First of all, I want to officially welcome you back on the team, Jemma. You risked a lot to give us valuable intel on our enemy. And even though some of us are still upset" he looked at Skye who wanted to say something, but stopped when she saw May glaring at her "we are really happy you are back."

"Thank you, Sir" Jemma said shyly, unable to look at the others.

"The reason why I called this meeting is the intel Jemma brought us. It contained valuable information on Hydra operatives, bases, missions – the whole package. But it also contained a very interesting file. I read it and I have to say it made my blood run cold. We know that Hydra doesn't stop from brainwashing their recruits. But there are a lot more horrible things going on there. One of their top agents trained, and I will deliberately use the word weapon, a lethal human weapon. What horrified me was the way this weapon was trained – the physical and mental torture this individual had to endure. I won't disclose the file, because it is my opinion and of his therapist that the individual has the right to some privacy. If he ever wants to talk to you about it then so shall it be. But otherwise, no chance."

"Hang on. Are you saying this lethal human weapon is here?" Lance asked incredulous.

"Yes."

"And when were you going to tell us that some psycho is here, putting all our lives in danger" Skye asked furiously.

"He is not putting anyone in danger. He is restrained" Coulson answered.

"It's…Wa…Ward. Isn't it?" Fitz asked, already knowing the truth.

Coulson only nodded.

"What?" Skye shouted.

"Calm down, all of you" May said, never raising her voice.

"There is more" Mack stated. "Otherwise you wouldn't have told us."

"Yes, there is. This is Dr. Cynthia Monroe. She had a long therapy session with Ward just this morning. It is her and my opinion that Ward was manipulated and forced to do many of the things he did. While none of us excuse his actions, we can't but acknowledge that Ward deserves a second chance." The others wanted to protest, Skye especially, but Coulson raised his hand to order them to shut up and listen. "Now, while I know that some of you are against giving Ward a second chance I will do it nevertheless. But it comes with conditions."

Coulson spend the next hour explaining what his intentions with Ward were and what he expected from them. He assured them that they would be safe at all times and he wasn't going to ask them to forgive or forget what their former team mate did, only to accept that it was his decision as director and they should suck it up. He also asked the therapist to say a few things to them, without breaking doctor-patient confidentiality.

"We don't have a say in this, do we?" Skye asked.

"No. One more thing. I would do this for all of you. I even did at some point – Skye, Hunter, even you May. But I think you should know that I did this for someone who had far more red on her ledger. You may know her as the Black Widow." With that he left the common area of the Bus, motioning May and Monroe to follow him, leaving the younger agents alone to think of what they just heard.

Coulson was sure that they would argue a lot over the next few days, ok, make it weeks, but he was sure it was the right thing to do. He went to his office to retrieve a small box and a key and headed towards Ward's holding cell, where both May and Monroe waited. He opened the door and entered the cell, followed closely by the two women.

"Good afternoon, Ward" Coulson greeted.

"Good afternoon, Sir."

"Good afternoon, Grant" the therapist greeted.

"Good afternoon, Cynthia."

"Ward" May simply said.

"May."

"Good, now that we all greeted each other let's get down to business" Coulson said, approaching the barrier. "An hour ago I've informed the team about my intentions. Of course, they weren't happy about it. The fact that you spend five hours talking to Dr. Monroe out of your own free will is proof that you want to change, become a better man. I'm willing to give you this second chance. But be warned, if you screw up, I will personally lock you up again and throw the key away. Are we understood?" Coulson asked.

"Yes, Sir."

"Next. You will go to therapy at least three times a week, but if you like to go more often you can discuss this with Dr. Monroe. You will be transferred to a secure room and you will wear this" Coulson said and opened the box he was holding, revealing a black bracelet. "The bracelet will not only work as a tracking device, but it will also monitor your heart rate, brain activity and other body functions Dr. Monroe will tell you later about. It will also restrict your access to the armory, the lab, certain areas of the base, as well as personnel quarters. If you need something you will talk to me, Dr. Monroe or Agent May. I've assigned Agent May to be your supervising officer, at the end of each day you will report to either her, me or Dr. Monroe. You will be assigned small tasks, such as repair or maintenance. Do you understand so far?" Ward nodded.

"I want a written report every day on what you did that day and who you talked to" Agent May told him sternly. Ward nodded again.

"Every month the four of us and sometimes some additional people will talk about your progress, if there is any, and assess if you earned a reward. A reward can be gaining access to a certain area you weren't allowed before or some time outside, of course under supervision and you might be allowed to work out again. You can also receive books to read or a laptop, highly secured of course where you can watch a movie every once in a while" Coulson explained further.

"The first month you will be locked in your room at the end of the day. If we see fit that you earned our trust to not lock you in anymore you might get a key" May told him.

"And while others may enter your room, you won't be allowed to enter there's, unless they grant you access. The bracelet is programmed to send an electric current through your body enough to knock you unconscious" Dr. Monroe explained further.

"This is the last time I will ask you if you want this or not" Coulson looked serious.

"I want this. I will do whatever it takes to do better. I will follow every order, do whatever you tell me to do, I will write reports, whatever it takes to help you. You won't regret this" Ward vowed.

"I know we won't. Coulson might wanna put you in a cell and throw the key away, but accidents happen" May said, smirking for the first time.

Ward swallowed hard.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ok, Ward, step back" Coulson said and typed a code on his tablet. In an instant the barrier dissolved and Ward was able to step outside his small cell. He reached out his right wrist and Coulson put the tracking bracelet on. "Good, now let's go and show you where you will be staying."

Coulson turned around and walked to the stairs, followed by Ward, Dr. Monroe and May. He opened the door and when the bright light hit Ward he had to put his hands up to his eyes to block it. The small group stopped and when Ward was able to see again they walked down the hall to where Ward's new room was. Coulson chose the room farthest away from the others. Not just because of them not wanting an ex-agent around them, but as well for Ward's sake. It would be a long way till Ward was ready to be reintegrated into the group and later the organization, but Coulson was an optimist. He would accommodate Ward into another room once the younger man proofed to be trustworthy, but until then this room should do it.

Coulson opened the room with the key card and let Ward step in first. It was dark, but Coulson quickly turned on the lights revealing a small room with a bed, a drawer, a table and a chair. On the opposite side of the entrance was another door. Coulson opened it and showed Ward his bathroom.

It was more than Ward could have asked for. Coulson was more generous than necessary.

"Thank you, Sir."

"You're welcome. Tomorrow you will report to my office at 0700 hrs. Dr. Monroe will explain to you how to get there."

"Understood."

"Good night, Ward."

"Good night, Sir."

Coulson left the room, followed by May who just chose to glare at Ward. Dr. Monroe looked up at him smiling.

"So, how do you like your new room?"

"It's alright. It's actually better than alright."

"Good. I'm glad. So, do you still want to talk?" she asked.

"Yes."

The therapist took a seat at the table, while Ward sat down on his bed. They talked for more than three hours before Dr. Monroe yawned and Ward apologized for keeping her up to late.

"Don't worry, it's not that late. But you have a big day tomorrow. I will check in with you tomorrow evening, at six. Is that alright?" Ward nodded. "I will inform the director that we both agreed on a daily therapy session. But let's cut them to just an hour. Starting tomorrow I will assign you homework – sort of" she smiled at that "like writing a diary or letters to the people you want to apologize or other things like that. You don't have to do them, but I would like you to."

"I will do whatever you ask me to do."

"Actually, Grant, the whole purpose of me telling you this is to give you options. You are not a mindless creature that doesn't have free will. I said I would like you to that homework, but I won't judge you or somehow fail you if you don't. I want you to feel comfortable making your own decisions. You need to learn to think and act for yourself, not guided or ordered by others. Do you understand?" He nodded. "Good. So, good luck tomorrow, Grant."

"Thank you."

"Good night."

"Good night."

Dr. Monroe left his room and him alone. He could hear the door closing and locking, but unlike in the vault Ward felt free. It wasn't his new quarter, which was very nice if he was honest, but the fact that he could speak to the therapist freely about his past. Although what they had discussed so far are just peanuts, he felt reassured that someone was willing to listen.

Ward decided to take a shower. While in the vault he could only shower once a week. It could have been worse. Like that one time in Thailand when he was on a covert op and couldn't wash himself for almost two weeks. He turned the hot water on and got rid of his clothes. He realized he only had that one set. Usually, while he was in the shower, someone brought him a fresh change of clothes, but no one was here. He then remembered the drawer. Maybe they put some clothes in. He opened it and found clothes – not any, but his clothes. They were washed and neatly folded. He had everything he needed in there. He took a pair of sweats and a tee, as well as underwear and returned to the shower. He stepped inside and winced when the hot water hit his skin. He quickly got used to the temperature and allowed the water to wash away the filth. He relaxed so much under the warm water that he suddenly felt very sleepy. He turned the water off and stepped outside. Grabbing a towel he quickly dried himself and slipped into his fresh clothes. He then went to turn out the light and finally got into bed. It was hard, but it was better than the one he had in the vault.

The moment his head hit the pillow he fell asleep. He was both excited and worried about the next day. But whatever may come he would take it. He swore to it and he promised Coulson he would earn his trust. And that's what he planned on doing.


	9. Chapter 9

Ward woke up early the next morning. He got out of his bed, went to the bathroom, washed his face and looked surprised at the shaving supplies next to the sink. He must have been too tired the night before, since he hadn't noticed them. He picked up the razor and looked into the mirror. Yeah, he needed a shave. He applied some foam on his face and put the razor near his right cheek. Somehow he found it strange to be able to do something this casual again. Especially, after his suicide attempts. He shook his head a little. He reasoned he would have to talk about that time with Cynthia. Ward resumed what he was doing, but decided for a stubble look. He wasn't sure if looking just the way he used to, before the betrayal, would help him reconnect with the others. But he also didn't want a reminder of the past months he spend in the vault all by himself. He was soon done and took a shower. He wasn't sure what time it was, since he had no watch, so might as well take a quick shower.

By the time he got out Agent May stood in his room. He was a little surprised that he hadn't heard her enter. But then again his senses weren't that sharp anymore after so many months without training.

"Good morning" he greeted.

"It's 0650 hrs. Coulson wants you in his office at 0700 hrs" she said and left the room.

Ward quickly got dressed and headed out to meet up with the director. He remembered what Cynthia told him about how to get there and how to avoid drawing attention to himself. He needed to be patient before he could just walk to people and greet them.

He soon arrived in front of Coulson's office but had to stop in his tracks when a familiar face looked up at him.

"Koenig?" Ward asked incredulous. It was bizarre. He was sure he had killed the man, back in Providence. How was that possible?

"Agent Ward, the director is waiting for you in his office" Koenig told Ward cheerful, as if nothing had happened.

"How?" he only managed to ask.

"Oh, I get your confusion. I'm Billy Koenig. The other Koenig at Providence was my brother Eric. You killed him" he said, still no visible change in his demeanor. Ward could only nod.

After Koenig left Ward knocked on Coulson's door and waited to be invited inside.

"Come in" he heard Coulson. "Oh, Ward, good morning. Please, take a seat."

Ward sat down on the chair in front of Coulson's desk and waited for Coulson to talk.

"You are probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you. Well, today is a big day. Not just for you, but also for the team. I will send for them, one by one, to come here and talk to you. If any of you wants me out of the room I'll leave, otherwise I'll stay here."

"Sir, I would like it if you stayed for the entire time" Ward told him.

"You afraid they might beat the crap out of you" Coulson asked smiling.

"Not really, but I think it would be best. They don't trust me, which I understand, and I have nothing to hide."

"Alright. Let's start then. Agent May will be the first." Ward swallowed hard. Last time he and May had a little chat he was beaten, nailed (not in the good way) and she broke his larynx. He wasn't really looking forward. But given the fact that she had the chance earlier this morning he had hope she was maybe over the physical part of their reunion. "Billy, please send Agent May in."

The door opened shortly after that and May stepped inside. Ward looked up at her and waited for her to say something. She just glared.

"May, I called you here to talk" Coulson told her.

"We've talked plenty last time, until he couldn't anymore."

"Melinda, please."

"Agent May" Ward spoke and stood up "I know you hate me and you probably would want to see me dead."

"That's about right" she replied.

"I know that what I did, what I did to you, the team – I will never be able to pay for all that, but I will do whatever it takes to help you, protect you and maybe someday you will be able to forgive me. I know that a simple "I'm sorry" won't do it. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I won't waste this chance Coulson has given me. I know that you disapprove and I can blame you, but you won't regret it. If Coulson sends me to the North Pole for recon, that's what I'll do. If he wants me to swim in a pool of sharks – again I will obey without questioning, if…"

"Ward, stop it" Coulson interjected.

"Yes, stop. A lot of words. You will have to prove to us that you are trustworthy, with actions, not words."

"That's not why I stopped him, May. Ward, I'm not Garrett. Just because I order you to walk into traffic doesn't mean that you have to do it. Of course, I expect that you obey my orders, but not at the cost of your own life. We are SHIELD, not Hydra. You have options, you are not a slave or a weapon. You are a human being that made many mistakes, but who's willing the redeem himself."

"You will be assigned small jobs on the base – repairing or in the kitchen" May explained. "At the end of the day you will come looking for me and hand me over a written report. The report will contain what you did that day, to who you spoke to, problems you encountered. And I also want to know if anyone provoked, attacked or hit you. Not that I can't understand, but Coulson gave you this chance and his the boss. Any kind of violence directed towards you, without being provoked by you first is considered disobeying a direct order. You understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I don't want to bond, I don't want to hear your excuses or how sorry you are for being a traitor. As long as you do what you are told we are fine. If you step out of line I will personally beat the crap out of you. From now on your status is rookie." Ward nodded.

"Ok, then. Ward, do you wanna say something?"

"No, Sir."

"Alright. May, dismissed. Send in Simmons please." May nodded and left the office. A few moments later Jemma Simmons entered the room.

"Good morning, Jemma" Coulson greeted her.

"Good morning, Sir." She briefly looked at Ward and he could see the fear in her eyes.

"So, who wants to start?" Coulson asked.

"I would like, if you allow me" Ward tentatively asked.

"Is that ok for you Jemma" Coulson asked the bio-chemist. She only nodded.

"First of all, I want to assure you that you don't have to be afraid. I wouldn't hurt you. Besides, the bracelet will prevent it. I wanted to tell you and Fitz that what I did, ejecting the pod from the plane, I did to save you. You might not believe me, but Garrett wanted you dead. With a bullet in your foreheads. The only way to get you out of his reach was throwing you out of the plane. I programmed the plane to fly low so that the impact wouldn't be that harsh. I had no idea that the damn thing would sink. But I don't regret it" he watched Jemma after saying that. She was clearly shocked by his last words. "I mean it, Jemma. If I would have left you there, on the plane, even if you were inside that pod, the moment we landed they would have bombed their way in and killed you – very painfully. I couldn't do it and I've seen you work with less, so I figured the two of you would find a way out" Ward explained. "I'm not asking you to forgive me and pretend that nothing happened. I will spend the rest of my days trying to make things right, with all of you, even if you hate me and never talk to me."

"Ward, logically I understand what you are saying and I trust that Coulson knows what he is doing. But on a personal level I need time and I need to see that you have changed. That the Ward that is standing in front of me is the real one, the true one, the one that we all want to be good, not the one that betrayed us. It won't happen overnight, but I believe that we all want the Ward back that saved us so many times in the past. Our friend. I've been where you were – an undercover agent forced to lie to people, even if they were bad. I didn't do all the things you did, but now I can relate."

The two continued talking, ignoring Coulson completely. Simmons talked about how she worked undercover and asked Ward about his experiences and how he dealt with some of the aspects involving covert ops.

At the end of their conversation she even managed a small smile for him and he was grateful for it.


	10. Chapter 10

Next Coulson asked Fitz to come into his office. The moment he saw Ward he wanted to turn around and leave, but Coulson stopped him.

"I don't want to…to…" Fitz stuttered.

"Talk" finished Coulson.

"Yes, thank you."

"Then let Ward talk and you listen. How about that?" Coulson asked. Fitz only snorted.

"Fitz, what I did to you, I'm sorry. And I know no matter what I will do from now on will not make it up for all the bad things that happened to you because of me. But what I did, I did to safe you. You and Simmons. Garrett wanted you dead, with a bullet in your head each. At least like this you had a fighting chance. If you would have stayed there he would have killed you, even if I had refused and got myself into a hell of trouble he still would have killed you. I had to act the way I did. He watched me. He followed the feed from the cameras on the Bus and he would have known if I would have helped you. At least like this he thought I ejected you into certain death. He had no clue I programmed the Bus to fly low."

Fitz listened to him but shook his head the entire time. Ward understood. The engineer lost so much because of him. The truth was irrelevant, Fitz wasn't Fitz anymore. He lost more than Ward could ever give him back.

"You did this to me!" Fitz shouted.

"I'm sorry" Ward said in a low voice.

"Sorry isn't …. Isn't …." Fitz stuttered again. His emotions got the best of him and silent tears started rolling down his face. He was furious. And he had every right to be.

"I know. It will never be enough" Ward told him. "But I will do everything I can to help you and protect you. I will never let anyone hurt you again. You don't have to forgive me. You don't even have to talk to me. I understand I lost any kind of right to expect anything other than hatred."

"That's right!" he shouted again. "I hate you!" he stepped towards Ward and started hitting him with his fists. Coulson wanted to pull him away, but Ward shook his head. He didn't mind. If Fitz would feel better he would take any beating any day. "You were our friend" Fitz said between sobs. "And you betrayed us" his voice sounded broken. "You were my friend and I trusted you" he said almost in a whisper. Fitz stopped hitting Ward and the older man tentatively put his arms around the engineer. To all of their surprise Fitz didn't back away, but let Ward hold him.

"I know I hurt you. But maybe one day you will believe when I say that I did consider you my friend, even a little brother. I couldn't protect my younger siblings and I wanted to protect you and Simmons so bad. I made many bad choices, but I wanna make up for them. If you would give me a chance I would prove to you that I can be the man you knew. I won't bother you. If you want to talk to me I will be very happy to do so. And if not, it's ok. I have no right to be upset or offended. I know that. I swear, from this day on I will be 100% the man you knew, because this is the man I want to be. Scratch that. I want to be better, because the Grant Ward that you met was arrogant and an asshole. I want to be who I truly am. Not SHIELD Ward or Hydra Ward, just Ward."

Fitz pulled away and whipped his face clean. He didn't look up to see Ward but he knew that he was looking at him.

"I can't …" he said, before turning around and leaving the office.

"Don't worry. It is progress" Coulson encouraged.

"Yeah" Ward said thoughtful.

"Ok, let's go on. Koenig, please send in Hunter and Mack" Coulson said over the phone.

A few minutes later two man entered the office. One very tall and robust and the other with a rather stupid grin on his face.

"Ward this is Mack, he is currently in charge of repairs – he is sort of our engineer, helping Fitz. Mack this is Grant Ward. Well I don't have to tell you who he is." Mack shook his head and stretched out his hand for Ward to grab it. The latter shook it and nodded. "And this is Lance Hunter, he joined us more recently." The two men shook their hands and nodded towards each other. "Now, you two are rather on neutral ground when it comes to Ward. But the same goes for you as for anyone on this base in general. If you attack, beat or provoke Ward in any way you will be punished. If he starts a fight however you are allowed to hit back. But I would prefer if everyone would just stay calm. So, no fighting. Unless you are in the gym and training."

The three men nodded in agreement and Coulson allowed them to get acquainted. He left the three men alone, since he had a meeting with May and wanted to be there when Trip and Skye would meet Ward again.

"So, tell me, mate, what was it like on the dark side?" Lance asked nonchalantly.

"Well, it was dark" Ward replied.

"Uhum. I heard you were like a ladies man in your better days" Lance continued.

"Lance" Mack scolded.

"What? I wanna know. Wanna see who had more girlfriends" Lance explained smirking.

"I don't know where you heard that" Ward said.

"That little sunshine that could kill you if you dared looking at her the wrong way" Lance explained.

"You mean May?" Ward asked confused.

"Why would I mean May?"

"Because we…" Ward started but realized maybe it wasn't such a good idea telling this strange man that he and his now SO had a sexual relationship at some point.

"Bloody hell. You and the Cavalry did it" Lance practically shouted.

"Don't call her that" Ward and Mack said at the same time.

"Bloody hell. Sunshine owes me big time for withholding such valuable information."

"Who do you mean? Who's _sunshine_?" Ward asked curious.

"That babe that wants your nuts as a trophy for being such a… what did she say… oh right, a lying, cheating bastard freaking Nazi."

"Skye" Ward said in a sad whisper.

"I'm sure she doesn't mean it that way" Mack tried to calm the situation.

"No, she meant it. And I don't blame her" Ward said.

"Listen, mate. I don't know what your deal was, but if the director wants to give you a second shot who am I to question him. Especially, since I don't know him that well. But this team is my team now, my friends and if you hurt them I will hurt you. I don't care if Coulson punishes me. I will destroy you if you hurt any of them."

"Don't worry. I don't intend on doing that. I wanna make things right. I wanna help them the best I can and protect them from every harm."

"That's nice" Mack said smiling.

After another ten minutes Coulson returned to the office pleased that the three men hadn't killed each other. Well, he wouldn't have expected Mack to even move, knowing how peaceful the man was. Hunter and Ward on the other hand. Ward promised to behave and not cause trouble, but trouble was Hunter's middle name.

The director dismissed the two men and called Trip to his office.

"Good morning ,Sir, Ward" Trip greeted smiling.

"Good morning, Agent Tripplett" Coulson greeted him.

"Hello, Trip."

"So, I hear you wanna be good again. Good for you. Listen man, we both worked under Garrett and Coulson explained us that the man was nuts, he also told us a few things about how he treated you – no worry, boss was very mysterious. But I knew the mad man, I know what he was capable of. You made mistakes and even though I don't feel the betrayal like the rest of them I just wanna tell you that if you screw up or hurt any of them I will beat the crap out of you. We clear?"

"Yes. I will show you that I've changed. That I wanna be the agent they knew. A good guy. I don't ask for any of their forgiveness, just a chance to help and protect them."

"That's good man. We could use some extra hands around here."

Coulson allowed them to talk for half an hour before he wanted to call Skye. Trip and Ward talked about their time with Garrett, then with the team, what had happened since Ward was imprisoned and even Fitz's progress. Ward told Trip that he started seeing a therapist, who helped him see and understand a few things about himself. Before Trip had to go he hugged Ward in a manly kind of way, which made Ward smile to himself.


End file.
